Best Song of the 80's!

This is my favorite song from the 1980's. I love music from the 80's... mainly because I have rad sisters who listened to tubular music back then. It was released in 1983, but I didn't hear this obscure and awesmazing song until 2001 when Vanilla Sky was released. I immediately went out and bought the Vanilla Sky soundtrack just to get this one song and it was not on it! I did a bit of research and finally found it. This is my gift of love to you. Enjoy the sonic ear candy!

Happy Birthday Mom!

It’s my Mother's birthday today!

She is the most amazing woman. She raised 10 redheaded kids to adulthood. 10 kids! That is 40 weeks of pregnancy for each child or 400 weeks total. There are 4 weeks in a month so that is 100 months. There are 12 months in a year so this means that Mom was pregnant for over 8 years. This doesn’t even include the pain multiplying factors of nursing and raising very young children while pregnant.

Then, she had to raise us!

So, Happy Birthday Mom! I love you more than I can adequately express. You are the heart of this family.

Red Like Me

I am a redhead.

Wow, it feels good to be able to say that. I am red and proud! Redheads have had a bad rap in popular culture for the past few decades. We are called gingers, carrot top, daywalker, fire crotch, and other despicable names. In fact, being a redhead in the 80's was much like being an albino in medieval times. We were both ostracized and labeled as demons. Except Albinos really are demons. Snow demons.

It hasn’t always been this way. In fact, many of the most powerful and influential people of ancient times were redheads. So, here is my list of redheads who have shaped your world!

1. Jesus. It looks like red hair to me in all the good paintings. Other depictions, which lack the red hair are not authorized by the NAARP. (National Association for the Advancement of Redheaded People)
2. Adam. Yes, the Adam. The father of mankind. The name for Adam in Hebrew is also identical to the word for ruddy or red. What a great way to start the world!
3. The Prophet Mohammed. Oh yeah, nonbeliever! In the Koran it says that Mohammed dyed his hair with henna in order to get a nice red color. Fashion for the faithful.
4. King David. In descriptions of the ancient king, he is said to be "admoni" which means ruddy or redheaded. I think Goliath was probably redheaded too. That’s where all that anger came from.
5. Mary Magdalene. She is often depicted as having red hair. She is a “Disciple of Good Taste” in my estimation.
6. Achilles. Yeah, of Homer's Iliad. He is described as being redheaded. Awesome warrior with only one weakness. Sounds like most redheads I know. Our only weakness is the Sun.
7. Thor. The Viking God of Thunder was often depicted as having red hair. His lightning bolts strike you with style. Eric the Red was so in vogue.
8. Ramses the Great. He is often regarded as the most powerful of all the pharaohs. He ruled for 66 years of pure Egyptian awesomeness. He is also described as being redheaded. Once you go red, your enemies go dead!

These revelations maybe hard for some of you to digest. If you question it, go ahead and check it out on Wikipedia. The Internet never lies. Oh, and just so you know, I AM NOT IRISH!

Master Butt Cleanse!

I'm on Day 4 of the Master Cleanse. If you don't know, the Master Cleanse is a type of fasting where you take laxatives several times a day as well as a fresh squeezed lemon juice, organic maple syrup, and red cayenne pepper concoction whenever hungry. It is supposed to clean you out. The main reason I am doing it is because I am trying to avert depression.

You see, I am in North Carolina right now. I had to stay here by myself over Easter weekend. My little boy Roman keeps asking for me or saying, "Daddy's gone." I feel like breaking into Man Tears anytime I talk to Daniela. (Man Tears are a form of crying while apologizing for crying while snot streams from your nose.) So, instead of falling into a depression-fueled eating frenzy, (chocolate cake loves me no matter what is happening) I decided to control myself by punishing myself. With starvation.

It's not too bad really. The Lemon-Maple-Cayenne Pepper drink was like the piss of Satan after an asparagus eating contest, but I barely taste it anymore. I guess I feel good, just kind of hungry... for weird things. For instance, I would love some cooked cabbage in chicken broth. Oh yeah, I would cover my body in that delicious cooked cabbage. That bad, naughty, translucent vegetable. I would sit in a bathtub of cooked cabbage and dive underneath with my mouth wide open. I would call it Me-so cabbage soup!

I don't really recommend the fast, unless you are trying to ward off depression. If you do want to try it though, let me know and I'll get you the info. Oh, one thing- If you do try it, DON'T EVER PASS GAS! You think it's just a little fart, but it comes out a Shart. A bright orange shart! This has happened three times to me so far. It was once per day until I finally figured it out yesterday... actually it was this morning when I woke up. This cleanse does such disgusting things to your bod!

Red Itchy Karma

It is now the second time in two days that I have had an embarrassing and public outbreak of hives. I think it might be the new type of body soap I recently decided to give a try. That or Ebola. Most likely, it's Karma. Here is my list of things I have done recently, which are punishable by hives.

1. I've eaten McDonalds three times this week. Mainly because of their cheeseburgers and chocolate chip cookies. They are fabulous! I love em! This sounds like the early stages of obesity. I will now give them both up as penitence.
2. I cursed...in front of my son Roman. I said, "There is $#!% everywhere!" You see, he had taken his diaper off and there was runny poop all over the tile and on the counter. I overreacted; it's nothing a little bleach and elbow grease couldn't fix. I will take Roman to the park for penitence.
3. I remind myself of Michael Scott from the The Office. Just in general. Most of the time. For penitence, I will...I will... Firm up my resolve. That’s what she said.

Remember, Karma is real. Karma is bigger than you. Karma hates redheads with sensitive skin. So, do something nice right away!

Best Word Ever!

The best word in the english language has finally been decided. It was chosen for it's connotation, denotation, and funotation. The best word has many uses, but it is still simple and luckily not yet a cliche. No, it is not the word "Poop" although "Poopy" ran a close 4th. It is actually derived from a classy word that the Brits would use to celebrate a scrupmtious meal of tea and crumpets. It is derived from the word "Hurrah," but we Yanks made it cooler... as we always do. The best english word ever is:

Hooray!

What fun and joy we feel when using this word. It is excitement, exhiliration and triumph all in one little bouncy, playful word. So celebrate the Best English Word Ever, say "Hooray" today!

You might be interested in the fact that the Best German Word Ever is "Rechtsbehelfsbelehrung." It is a legal disclamer placed on written decisions made by government officials. The actual meaning is boring, but the word is just great. Try it, it's oh so fun to say! Hooray!

Thank You Mom & Dad

I cannot adequately express how grateful I am for you both. Daniela and I have needed so much help in our lives. We have needed so much help recently. I am amazed and humbled by how willing you have been to help us. You have taken care of Roman when we were at the hospital getting life saving blood transfusions for Marcus. You took care of Roman when Daniela was on bed rest and I had to work. You gave us an apartment when it became extremely difficult to travel an hour each way to the hospital 3-4 times a week. You allowed Daniela to move in when it became necessary because of Marcus's health. You get Roman in the morning when I have to leave for work early and Daniela is unable to be there. You always look excited to see Daniela, Roman, Marcus and I, even though we have taken so much of you.

Thank you Mom & Dad. In so many ways, the life I love and live would not be possible without you and your great sacrifices.