Too bad guys. Good luck in 8 years.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
- 7 mile tendon run!
- Sunday dinner cook off... with their heads!
- Ice dive of infertility!
- Nephew bench press of pain!
- Trampoline Trickster!
- Desserts of the desert!
- Sumo kick!
- Lion's breath of sudden death!
- Bunny polo!
If you have ideas you would like to add, please sent them ASAP!
Thank you for your participation,
The Manathlon Committee of Pure Awesomeness
Friday, September 5, 2008
Hi you, I have not blogged or been social for several months. I do apologize. I’ll catch you up on the last year to save time. In the last year I have:
- Moved twice. It worked out perfectly.
- Had my second son. Well, Daniela did the work. I supervised.
- Nearly passed out from dehydration in the desert.
- Went to Yellowstone. Saw less yellow stones than I had imagined.
- Killed a deer with my fire stick. That sounds funny.
- Had a vasectomy… I am more docile now.
- Quit my job. No hard feelings.
- Started a company. Prelaunch is like purgatory.
- Finally accepted that I am a redhead.
- Turned 27. I know I did because MTV now seems juvenile. VH1 just gets me!
Friday, May 9, 2008
You don't know me, but I know you. I understand what you're going through. I want to help you. You spent your life trying to get into the limelight. You achieved your goal of being slightly popular with 12-year-old girls and 14-year-old boys that “feel a lot" but don't have a good excuse to be pissed off. So you sing your songs about kissin, lovin, huggin, dancing, prancin and all that other whitebread fun.
Then you looked at your life and thought, "I wanted to say something of significance. I wanted to be the best sensitive white guy with an acoustic guitar ever." You released more albums. You gained more adoring adolescent fans. You felt even emptier.
I can fix you John Mayer.
First, stop showering. This may seem like a drastic move but it is necessary. Second, wear only one set of clothing for each week at a time. You should at times substitute a sundress for your ripped 501 Levis. Third, get addicted to something taboo, like absinthe. Fourth, maintain this lifestyle for at least one full calendar year. Finally, try and fix all of these problems along with the problem of being a pansy while recording an album with a grotesque cover and a nonsensical title... I smell a hit! (John, this worked for Curt Cobain. It will work for you.)
Friday, April 11, 2008
When I was 16, I thought this song felt the way love would feel. You see, I was a grunge teenager. We thought Seattle was Mecca and Curt Cobain was Bob Marley reincarnate. By the way, they don't call them "grunge" anymore. The politically correct term is "Homeless looking smelly kid." The video is weird (or rather, ahead of its time... Just kidding, its really weird.) but the song is scrumtrulescent. It isnt gay that the name of the song is Tyler. Tyler could be a girl's name. Could be.